Credit David Wyley Long
By Lauren Means
Writing your memoir isn’t just something you do to share your story with others. It’s oftentimes also a therapeutic activity for oneself. This was the case for David Wyley Long. When discussing the motivation behind penning, “Up Against the Wind: Chasing David Wiley,” he explained how he had been living with childhood pain and trauma for a long time. “Releasing my life, so far, has freed me from the emotional bondage of understanding my life. My therapist helped me heal through the pages and pain, but I also hoped it would inspire others,” said Long.
“Up Against the Wind” is a story of life, love, loss, and rebirth. In it, Long, a self-proclaimed proud pansexual man, shares forty years of personal stories from his parent’s tumultuous relationship to the loss of his mother and father. He also shares personal recollections of relationships, exploring his sexuality, troubles with the law, and the obstacles he had to overcome to achieve the success he has today. “Everyone has a story, and I am hopeful everyone would love mine.”
We learn how HIV has taken important people from him through the years and we also read about how HIV education and assistance played a major role in his growth personally and professionally. While reliving past pain and trauma can be hard, sometimes it’s necessary to learn more about yourself. Long learned some important things during his journey explaining, “Everything in life ain’t pretty. You can’t make a happy ending if there’s no sunshine in the narrative. You can find peace, love and survival, but stop trying to make things pretty, when they are not.”
Long reveals his struggles with housing insecurities which included not one but two tragic fires that claimed everything he owned. He shares that of all the moments in his life he wrote about, the dual fires hit the hardest. He says, “Just writing about it, and feeling it, even a decade later is tough. Part of me will never recover, but I have processed it, and come a long way. While we all know fires are powerful forces, to have two of them, and lose it all, all within a year, proves I am way stronger than I knew.”
Coming from a Loving Place
We are introduced to many of Long’s family members as he takes us on a journey through his life. We meet his biological mother Hessie and his father David. He also tells us about Lillian who was a second mother to him. Long also shares that he has a sister named Lorrie along with a host of cousins, aunts, and uncles. He didn’t know a lot of his family until he became a young adult.
He does still speak with some of his family including Lillian and Lorrie. He said his sister Lorrie hasn’t read his memoir as it’s hard to discuss their mother. Most of his family, including Lillian, have mixed feelings which he says disheartens him, “I wrote [“Up Against the Wind”] from a sincere place of love, and although I am saddened that they were not pleased with the book for me stating real names, I [was] hopeful they would receive it with my intent of releasing pain and having the fuel to fight any storm now and forever.”
Family is a tricky thing sometimes, and one story that stood out was how his cousin, Lanier, submitted Long’s name as a known alias when he was convicted for a felony. This has caused issues for Long later in life when this shows up on his background and he has to provide proof that it was a mistake. For some people, this might have been a relationship ender but Long says he has forgiven his cousin. “I am able to show it is a mistake, as I am out in the world, and he remains locked up,” explains Long, “I still talk to him, and love him dearly.”
Reflection
In the four short decades he has been around, Long has made lasting impacts such as his involvement with the creation and operation of Project UNO. Project UNO was a program in Nashville that focused on empowerment, outreach and education surrounding issues concerning the MSM (Men who have Sex with Men) population. He says he’s thankful for the blessings that grew from this project, “Many members have grown to heights unimaginable. The community at large was thankful for the collaborative approach. It was a surreal ride, and I miss it all the time.”
Not one to stay still for long, he has lived in many states along the East Coast including New Jersey, New York, Michigan, and Georgia. Long moved to Nashville to start Project UNO in the fall of 2012. He has been here since but shares that he’s not against the possibility of a scenery change, “I am hopeful to fly into a slightly warmer and water-based state soon. While it is not immediate, it is being thought of and explored.” Even if Long ventures out, his business, Real Love Tennis, will keep him coming back to Nashville from time to time.
For more information about David Wyley Long, his book “Up Against the Wind: Chasing David Wiley,” and his business Real Love Tennis, visit http://www.davidwyleylong.com/.
