By Matthew Stafford • Photos Courtesy Nigel Ashford
Nigel Ashford is the creator and host of the show, OUTSpoken. Ashford, 28, is a native of Birmingham, Alabama, and has been working in Nashville for the past two years. Previously having worked as a television reporter in Mobile, Alabama, and in Amarillo, Texas, Nigel always wanted to be a talk show host but was told by a station manager that he didn’t have what it takes to be one. Undeterred and with some nudging by a good therapist, Nigel decided to give it a try, and his show debuted on Facebook in May of 2020. Show topics have been diverse and have included LGBTQ+ history, HIV/AIDS, raising children, polyamory, and cooking. We discussed what readers should know about the show and what makes it different from the LGBTQ+ content we mostly see on television.
Tell us about your show. What would you want readers to know?
It is a Facebook Live show, and one thing I would want readers to know is that it opens a conversation that is rarely had with LGBTQ+ culture. We always talk about entertainment. We always talk about celebrities. We always talk about reality tv. We always talk about Ru Paul’s Drag Race. We always talk about things that have to do with sexual intercourse. But we’re more than that, and we’re very deep-rooted, and there’s so much good, and positivity, and strength, and trauma, and loss, and understanding that has to go with LGBTQ+.
When people think of the LGBTQ+ community, we are seen as white men with blue eyes, blonde hair, a six-pack, and muscles. But there are African Americans. There are Asians. There are Latinx. There are transgender, and there are lesbians. There are so many people that makeup the LGBTQ+ community and their stories need to be told. I wanted to create a platform for people to be comfortable enough to tell their stories and also for people to be seen. It’s for us to really dive into the mindset and the cultures of everybody in the LGBTQ+ community. That’s the concept for my show.
What brought you to Nashville?
I accepted a position as a marketing director for a nonprofit. I’ve been here for two years now. I’m starting a new job with Gays with Kids. It is a national organization that really showcases LGBTQ+ parents raising children and finding them through adoption or surrogacy.
What motivates you to do that kind of work?
I was ashamed of being gay at first, and I was very closeted. That was even after coming out at the age of 20. When I thought of “gay,” I thought of flamboyant men who were “girlie.” Being African American, that’s even harder because on top of being black, now our own community is going to hate us for being gay. It’s like a triple-negative. I’m a black, gay male in America. On top of family and religion, it placed such a hardship on me. I’m a Christian, and I’m very close to my faith. I honestly thought, “Am I going to Hell?” “Am I disobeying God?” “Is this the right path for me?” Then, all of a sudden, when I started accepting all of me and loving all of who I am, doors started to open, purpose started to show. My passion for things started to change, but it was in a good way.
What do you feel like you’ve learned in putting your show together?
I’ve learned so much! Each show brings us understanding. With the LGBTQ+ community, I feel like we always just stay in our lane. The gays stay with the gays, the lesbians with the lesbians, the transgender with the transgender, the bi’s with the bi’s. For us to be a whole community, we don’t understand each other.
How do we expect people who are straight or religious to understand us if we don’t understand each other?
It sounds to me from listening to you that there’s wisdom to be found not only in hearing other people but also in sharing.
Yes, and it’s all in just talking. That’s the thing. If you provide a platform for people who are different from you, and you just take the time to listen, you will find out so much more about life and about others, and it will change your concept.
OUTSpoken can be found on Facebook at https://m.facebook.com/OUTSpokenLGBTQ/.
Matthew Stafford
Matthew currently lives in Nashville and works in Cool Springs. He is often navigating the realities of mid-life and looking for love in all the wrong places. Frequently, he may be found perusing Middle Tennessee stores for records, cassettes, videotapes, and laserdiscs, or dining in a favorite restaurant, or watching films at a cinema, or visiting a library, or driving around in his Beetle with his furry canine sidekick, Penelope Jeannette.
